by Cecilie Fjellhøy
In 2024, fraud was finally labelled a societal problem by the Norwegian National Authority for Investigation and Prosecution of Economic and Environmental Crime. Yet, this recognition feels bittersweet. The root cause of our inaction, I believe, is the stigma attached to fraud—a stigma that prevents us from tackling it like we do other crimes.
After going public with my own experience as the whistleblower in the Tinderswindler case, one of Netflix’s most-viewed documentaries, I was intrigued by the public’s response. Instead of focusing on why the criminal was still at large or the flaws that allowed such crimes to happen, the narrative shifted to victim-blaming. Were we, the victims, gold diggers who deserved what happened to us? It was a cruel echo of the kind of questions faced by victims of other crimes, like asking a rape survivor why they were in a certain place or wearing certain clothes.
Fraud is one of the few crimes where victims are openly mocked and told they’re at fault. This attitude shifts responsibility away from the criminals and onto those who suffer. It’s damaging, and it creates an environment where victims are left without support and fraudsters can continue unchecked.
The Personal Cost of Fraud
When I woke up from the nightmare of my fraud experience, I naively believed the system would help me recover. Instead, I faced a harsh reality: victims of financial crimes are often left to fend for themselves. In my case, I was left with over nine loans and £200,000 in debt. The psychological toll was immense. I had fallen into the sunk-cost fallacy—the more I invested in a relationship, the harder it became to accept the truth and escape.
Coming to terms with being a victim was excruciating. Fraud often isolates its victims. We lie to ourselves, our families, and even financial institutions to sustain the illusion. This isolation leads to self-blame, a sentiment that society, law enforcement, and financial systems readily reinforce.
Adding insult to injury, I was taken to court by four banks for debts I couldn’t repay. Billion-dollar institutions pointed the finger at me, while my fraudster walked free. This level of systemic failure compounds the trauma and leaves victims feeling utterly abandoned.
Systemic Injustice
Professor Marte Kjørven from the University of Oslo has described the treatment of fraud victims in Norway as the country’s greatest collective economic injustice. I couldn’t agree more. By focusing on blaming victims instead of holding criminals accountable, we’ve created an environment where fraud thrives. Why wouldn’t it? It’s one of the most lucrative crimes, with minimal consequences even for those who are caught.
Fraud is often called a financial crime, reducing its impact to stolen money. This view ignores the devastating human cost. Research has shown parallels between fraud and domestic abuse, including economic abuse, isolation, humiliation, and psychological manipulation. These aren’t just money problems—they’re deeply personal and damaging. Some victims even take their own lives under the weight of their suffering. I’ve been on the receiving end of soul crushing messages from victims themselves not knowing how to continue their lives, or family who’s been left.
A Broken System
As a UX designer with a decade of experience in tech, I once worked to make processes as seamless as possible. But when I became a victim, I saw the dark side of frictionless systems. It took me just two minutes to apply for 10 bank loans and less than two days to secure over £50,000 in unsecured loans. I even warned my fraudster about how frighteningly easy the process was: “No wonder people go bankrupt here.” Two years later, I found myself applying for personal bankruptcy because of those very actions.
This ease of access shows a critical flaw in our financial systems. While convenience benefits honest users, it also empowers criminals. Worse, when victims fall prey to these flaws, they’re treated as complicit rather than as casualties of systemic negligence.
The Bigger Picture
Fraud isn’t just about stolen money. The funds often fuel larger criminal enterprises, including drug trafficking, human trafficking, and terrorism. Yet, we fail to treat fraud as the serious threat it is. Instead, we allow outdated attitudes and broken systems to let the problem grow.
Fraud’s human cost goes far beyond the financial. Victims lose trust—in people, in institutions, and in themselves. Trust is the glue that holds society together. When it’s eroded, everyone feels the effects.
A Call to Action
To combat fraud effectively, we need serious change. First, we must stop blaming victims. Recognize that they’ve lost more than money; they’ve lost parts of their lives. Second, we need to use technology for good, not thinking the criminals have won, even though they rapidly change tactics and methods (AI scams and deepfakes). Third, we need collaboration across industries to share data and ideas.
Finally, let’s make fraud prevention the new customer service. By focusing on security and accountability, we can rebuild trust and create a safer society for everyone.
Fraud can happen to anyone. It’s time we treated it like the serious issue it is—not just as a financial problem, but as a societal one. Together, we can protect those at risk and stop fraud before it destroys more lives.
On LoveSaid
My determination to change how fraud victims are treated—and my deep desire to prevent anyone else from experiencing what I did—led me to co-found LoveSaid with Anna Rowe. LoveSaid is a non-profit organization dedicated to supporting victims of romance fraud and financial abuse and driving meaningful change.
At LoveSaid, we believe one simple truth: no one should have to recover alone. We offer emotional support, practical guidance, and vital resources to help survivors rebuild their lives after fraud.
But our mission goes beyond support—it’s about driving systemic change. LoveSaid actively advocates for stronger victim protections, pushing for policy reforms that hold financial institutions and tech companies accountable. We work to close the gaps that fraudsters exploit by collaborating with banks, tech platforms, and policymakers to build safer online spaces and implement better safeguards. Our work includes providing specialized training, leading workshops, and participating in webinars, conferences, and roundtables.
Our purpose is clear: empower survivors, break the stigma, and fight for real change in how fraud is prevented and addressed. If you want to know more, or support our work please visit www.lovesaid.org